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Duelistbluerose

Finding love at Anime Conventions and in General

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Siiiggh.

;o

I am shy. The end.

Wait that... that isn't want I wanted to say at all. Anyway --

I have a girlfriend at the moment, who is totally obsessed with me, and while that can be a good thing, it really isn't. I don't know what to do anymore. She gets so bad, that it actually turns violent at times. I feel like I am the female in the relationship because I am the one who gets hit/kicked/whatever.

My friends, and many other people tell me to just "kindly leave her" but I am a coward. What if I can never find anyone else ever again? That is ALWAYS my fear, so I always end up staying with these people I am totally not compatible with. This is a reason why this topic attracts me so much. And well, that "singles" meet up that has like no replies, what-so-ever.

Would it be wrong for me to talk to girls and get to know them? It's not like I have some "secret plans" to like, "seduce" some girls, and... "do stuff" while still with my current girlfriend; but I mean like... just to get to know them? See what happens? I'd definitely not try to do this sort of thing if I was happily with the person I am with, but this is a whole different story.. and I am leaving a lot of information about that had to do with the ... Police and such. Was not fun times with her : (

Anyway, I had to get that off my chest. Feels strange coming out and saying this here. Then again, you guys are my "people." Probably the *only* "kind" of people to understand someone like myself. Thanks for hearing me out (if you guys even paid any attention to all this 'rant' .. haha)

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Siiiggh.

;o

I am shy. The end.

Wait that... that isn't want I wanted to say at all. Anyway --

I have a girlfriend at the moment, who is totally obsessed with me, and while that can be a good thing, it really isn't. I don't know what to do anymore. She gets so bad, that it actually turns violent at times. I feel like I am the female in the relationship because I am the one who gets hit/kicked/whatever.

My friends, and many other people tell me to just "kindly leave her" but I am a coward. What if I can never find anyone else ever again? That is ALWAYS my fear, so I always end up staying with these people I am totally not compatible with. This is a reason why this topic attracts me so much. And well, that "singles" meet up that has like no replies, what-so-ever.

Would it be wrong for me to talk to girls and get to know them? It's not like I have some "secret plans" to like, "seduce" some girls, and... "do stuff" while still with my current girlfriend; but I mean like... just to get to know them? See what happens? I'd definitely not try to do this sort of thing if I was happily with the person I am with, but this is a whole different story.. and I am leaving a lot of information about that had to do with the ... Police and such. Was not fun times with her : (

Anyway, I had to get that off my chest. Feels strange coming out and saying this here. Then again, you guys are my "people." Probably the *only* "kind" of people to understand someone like myself. Thanks for hearing me out (if you guys even paid any attention to all this 'rant' .. haha)

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sorry if this sounds rude man, but grow a spine...thats the only way your going to get out of it.

the singles meetup thread was just put up today :angry:

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Topic pleeeeeaaaaaaase (finding love at Otakon). D:

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It's just; I don't want to lose that. I'm just afraid if I did "kick her to the curb," I may not find another person. And while I know, you don't *need* a boyfriend/girlfriend to survive, some of us just like having someone special in their lives.

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Wow. Wow.

She sounds like a controlling little freak. I hope you didn't buy into that living in together garbage. May I tell you what she may end up doing? Threatening to kill herself or crying like a little whiny baby that everyone, her family HATES her and all she has is you. Ppfft don't buy into that junk. Not even worth the drama.

You need to just tell her straight up, Look this relationship isn't working, I am sorry but I don't have those feelings for you anymore.

And if she cries, let her cry. Don't be a coward about it though. Be firm. Be honest. Don't backdown or give in to her, I can change. or the 'Oh gawwwwd please don't leave me..."

Just remember she is human too & has feelings. Respect them.

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For "Finding Love @ Otakon":

Googled "Anime Dating" and found results for comical game shows. This leads me to believe that:

-Finding someone via an anime con isn't something realistic.

-Easier to make a comical skit of anime characters dating then actual anime fans dating.

I think the Anime Dating thing could work only if:

-Databasing is used and people are organized by fields.

-Photos, profiles, chats.

It's important to note that most anime con goers are rooming with friends and are spending quality "friend" time.

The sociology of anime daters?:

I see a lot molecules of people walking around Otakon.

Molecules to me are groups of people who combine to make a support network. (Socially & Financially) Since these groups depend on certain atoms to keep the molecule's stability, the risk of separating the molecule would most likely unbalance most of the group. (Yes, some would rebind, but the molecule would lose certain properties it may have needed to exist in an environment.) This is some scary stuff to mess with.

I also see a lot of true nomadic individuals walking around.

These seem to be balanced self individuals who don't need another person to complete them. Binding would not hurt the person/element, but it would require something in common that 2 molecules could share, like the interest in anime or music. Much like 2 Hydrogens (people) bonding to 1 Oxygen (Interest). (Hey it happens)

I see a lot of pairs also.

Clinging to each other like Sodium and Chloride. Don't try to separate them, they're bonded directly. This could be a different kind of relationship like a sibling. And yes, friends and siblings will block relationships and binding.

The truth is, breaking molecules and restructuring pairs takes a lot of energy. And to do this, you have to work smarter, not harder.

I am not saying that anyone should focus on breaking up couples. That's just morally wrong.

An initiative:

If there are enough people interested in working towards making an effective speed dating environment, it can happen. Just be aware that most of the work is done outside of the con. You won't be re compensated or thanked, you won't get feedback, and the system will have to cater more towards women's wants then men. (men are highly adaptable)

While love is based on personal preference, making such a system would be a lot of research, trial, and error. Fortunately, dating seems to have a magical flood of natural interest. (Faith over Fact i guess) If there's potential money to fund such a project, it may have a chance.

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gordon... you are so smart it scares me but you are absolutely right the chances of finding love at a con is very slim, but the chances of making a connection that could lead to love is fair at best . i feel the best bet is to find some one who is either going or has an interest and talk to them, if i may suggest starting a thread where you exchange myspaces, aim or so on's.

just remember guys you don't find love, one day you realize it has found you

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...the chances of making a connection that could lead to love is fair at best

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How do men define a connection?

It's hard to describe when I have made a connection with the female persuasion. Its just a feeling like...YOU KNOW. For example when you are thirsty you know that you are thirsty. So you have something to drink. (Sorry for the lame example thats the best one i can come up with.)

How do women define a connection?

I have NO Idea, the only thing I have noticed is that. If a girl likes me in general she is more willing to hang out and talk with me. But thats more or less the "friend" stage of a relationship. If a girl is interested we go do things together like watch a movie with each other and the like.

How does one "make" a new connection?

I'm not exactly sure how to "make" a new connection. What I have grown to learn is that when you have general interest in someone of the opposite sex you should make it known. I'm not saying go and get flowers and candies for each girl that you notice and have a general interest in but I AM saying try to hang out with her. Invest some time in friendship before you try to move on up into a relationship.

How do we increase the frequency of new connections? (Naturally and unnaturally occurring)

The best way (that I have learned at least) to increase the frequency of new connections. Is to go out and hang out with friends, go to that club that you have been avoiding lately. Go see that movie that you have procrastinated in seeing. Go out and do things and generally have FUN. Be yourself, go out not looking for a relationship. It sounds backwards I know but its when you stop looking that a relationship finds you.

If you would like an answer to any of your off tangent questions. Just post again and make it known. Hope I helped

-Champagon

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...the chances of making a connection that could lead to love is fair at best
Agreed.

New questiona arise:

How do men define a connection?

How do women define a connection?

How does one "make" a new connection?

How do we increase the frequency of new connections? (Naturally and unnaturally occurring)

Off tangent questions:

-What are somethings women are naturally interested in? (Could be non dating also)

-Is wearing a sticker saying that your single and looking tacky?

-A friend of mine (female) said she posted a dating add on craigslist and gets flooded with real requests from real men. When I post a request, all I get is manipulative heartbreaking spam. Confirmation?

Did someone take Psychology? (I'm taking it right now)

Look finding love is the same thing, whether it be at a con or anywhere else in the world. Unless there's some immediate connection, it's most likely not going to happen unless you get to know the person for awhile. It doesn't matter where it happens, most people like to take there relationships slowly (although, as I've said, there are those rare instant connection cases, and if your lucky enough to have that happen, good for you)

By the way, if you have sex on the first date, it's normally not going to work out, because it ends up being a purely sexual relationship.

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"...love... ...connections..."

Well, should we even define a connection as anything to do with love? Can't it just be a simple mutual friendship?

The love thing is too deep to dig for off the bat. (Or that's what I think @ least.) How about just getting people together just to hang out, and that's it. Kinda like mass hording friends on Myspace or Facebook, but in an enclosed reality.

Actually, I think that Thursday Night Sushi thing is the perfect connections exposure type thing. Who cares about the love thing, just find people you can relate to. Joking about non-relationships is as fun as being in one I say.

Do general hangouts help make strong connections?

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...the chances of making a connection that could lead to love is fair at best
Agreed.

New questiona arise:

How do men define a connection?

How do women define a connection?

How does one "make" a new connection?

How do we increase the frequency of new connections? (Naturally and unnaturally occurring)

Off tangent questions:

-What are somethings women are naturally interested in? (Could be non dating also)

-Is wearing a sticker saying that your single and looking tacky?

-A friend of mine (female) said she posted a dating add on craigslist and gets flooded with real requests from real men. When I post a request, all I get is manipulative heartbreaking spam. Confirmation?

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Most otaku guys aren't my cup of tea. xD

I'm really judjmental, I know personality is important but I can't date a guy who's fat, unhygienic, and he has to be at least someone hot or cute or even average for that matter and no nerds btw. And I don't really like "otakus" I mean I like anime but I want my boyfriend to also be sane and like things outside of anime.

I have High standards I know. Sorry. ;-;

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-Is wearing a sticker saying that your single and looking tacky? Definitely. It makes a person look desperate (sorry but I had to be blunt on that one).

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-Is wearing a sticker saying that your single and looking tacky? Definitely. It makes a person look desperate (sorry but I had to be blunt on that one).
LOL, don't be sorry, it was more of a reinforced point rather then an idea. A "Singles Event" is another type of label. And like having the word Single put on a person's clothing, the event has that same attribute.

I have High standards I know. Sorry. ;-;

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I know personality is important but I can't date a guy who's fat, unhygienic, and he has to be at least someone hot or cute or even average for that matter and no nerds btw. I want my boyfriend to also be sane and like things outside of anime.

I have High standards I know. Sorry. ;-;

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...How about those who don't have digital cameras and have to depend on the disposable type?...

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Most otaku guys aren't my cup of tea. xD

he has to be at least someone hot or cute or even average for that matter and no nerds btw. .

I have High standards I know. Sorry. ;-;

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okay that is just incredibly shallow, right now just cut out the average part, because i've seen this same attitude in teenagers. they put in the average part to attempt to justify the shallow standards. your extreme high standards are going to bite you back very hard in the upcoming years. you'll eventually learn the "hotter" a guy is, the higher the chance is that he's going to cheat. matter of fact, mostly any guy you meet that has girls swooning over him daily has a 100 percent chance of cheating. you may not take my advice serious now, but you will eventually find out the hard way.

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But I wouldn't go as far as saying, "good looking guys will cheat on you." Firstly, it is making you sound almost jealous, or like you have a inferiority complex and are almost admitting you don't think you look good yourself.

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But I wouldn't go as far as saying, "good looking guys will cheat on you." Firstly, it is making you sound almost jealous, or like you have a inferiority complex and are almost admitting you don't think you look good yourself.

no my friend, im just stating cold hard facts and observations made over the years. jealous of those extremely bishi good looking guys? nah not really, their life spans tend to be considerably shorter due to stress related factors of juggling more then one relationship. their bank accounts also tend to be empty :)

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I know personality is important but I can't date a guy who's fat, unhygienic, and he has to be at least someone hot or cute or even average for that matter and no nerds btw. I want my boyfriend to also be sane and like things outside of anime.

I have High standards I know. Sorry. ;-;

Haha. VERY real. I appreciate it. I really feel the same as you by the way (My soul mate?! haha.. : P). In all honest, if I was with a girl first, and then she got.. well... bigger, that's okay. But, while personality makes or breaks a person (in my book) looks also matter, very much, especially when first seeing someone.

I am however, a "nerd," in other ways. I love cars. I watch anime once a blue moon, I play some games sometimes. Can't deal with that?! haha : )

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first ya know you guys need to calm down this thread comes off kinda desperate and cynical and just like other threads like it all over the net you're making it out to be harder then it really is.

Is it possible to find love at a con? My answer No

it's possible to find friends that becomes love over time. To find Love at anime con would be love at first site because you only get 3 days.

As a girl who met her love in a different way just thought I'd give some tips from the girls point of view. There seems to be alot of guys who are just clueless as to what to do so I really hope this will help some of you

From my friends and myself the type of guys that we end up with for the long haul, are calm cool guys who don't come off as threats and have something in common with us. Ya know you'd be surprised alot of girls don't need beefcake guys they're willing to accept a guy with a nice personality if he can show it to her. And most girls have issues with themselves and most of all just want acceptance as well.

The best thing to do is make friends first, chat chat chat and chat some more about whatever you have in common exchange contact (email, Lj, myspace, user name etc) and follow up. No girl who is going to be a catch is going to jump in your pants and thank god you came around. and please don't follow her around!! I've been followed at cons and it scared me silly. You really need to talk to the girl till she feels more comfortable with you, you want to be her friend nothing else, no matter what you need to come off as a normal guy who isn't a threat to her and she'll start to relax around you.

I had a few guys I was interested in at con's before when I was younger but they always managed to scare me away before 2 hour was out. Never suddenly loose your temper about things in front of the girl. It's a total turn off. Don't complain non stop also turn off. Don't tell her how much of a loser you are etc HUGH turn off. Rule of thumb the more you say something the more people believe it. Don't brag or put others down, talk about your mom or your medical history or start arguments TOTAL turn offs again. Shower, wear deodorant, keep your eyes off her chest and don't use pick up lines. It's better to find a topic starter maybe her cosplay or pins or bag etc. Be calm.

For me I met my hubby online, which is a way more and more people are finding love. we were downloading and got to chatting. I've chatted with lots of guys back then and alot of them would sooner or later come on to me and it was not well received. I did not like the idea of being hit on online but The thing that my hubby did different was he just chatted with me normally. No hidden agendas I thought he was a girl at first LOL His words were sincere and honest and it came off romantic because of it. He didn't demand my photo on day one, he waited awhile he dropped subtle hints about liking me and by the time he asked for my photo I was ready to give it. When he confessed he liked me, i already knew him pretty well and could tell it was sincere.

finding love is hard work don't think it can just poof happen. You need to work at it and let it build up.

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okay that is just incredibly shallow, right now just cut out the average part, because i've seen this same attitude in teenagers. they put in the average part to attempt to justify the shallow standards. your extreme high standards are going to bite you back very hard in the upcoming years. you'll eventually learn the "hotter" a guy is, the higher the chance is that he's going to cheat. matter of fact, mostly any guy you meet that has girls swooning over him daily has a 100 percent chance of cheating. you may not take my advice serious now, but you will eventually find out the hard way.

Really though, she was being very honest.

And also I see you're saying with the, "right now, just cut out the average part."

Now that I read it over it is a little shallow, but as I said, very real.

But I wouldn't go as far as saying, "good looking guys will cheat on you." Firstly, it is making you sound almost jealous, or like you have a inferiority complex and are almost admitting you don't think you look good yourself. "Not-so-good-looking guys/girls," will cheat, if it's in their system, just as much as anyone else. No, they won't sleep with good looking people, but they'll be popular with the "ugly people." See what I am saying?

-------

I already skating on thin ice, but I just wanted to point all this across. With all that being said, I want to stay on topic by saying the following:

Anyone still reading over this thread, be you male or female, and single.. go to the singles meet! ;o

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Look everyone I'm really sorry about my shallow statement I was just speaking my mind I didn't mean it the wrong way. D:

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Sorry If I offended anyone, and yes I understand I am a bit shallow.

But I'm only human. D:

-----------

p.s Where is the singles meet gonna be? :0

Look everyone I'm really sorry about my shallow statement I was just speaking my mind I didn't mean it the wrong way. D:

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Most otaku guys aren't my cup of tea. xD
How about a not so Otaku, but more techie straight forward. (not fanboy, a 9 to 5er attitude)

;) <-- too much?

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Most otaku guys aren't my cup of tea. xD

I'm really judjmental, I know personality is important but I can't date a guy who's fat, unhygienic, and he has to be at least someone hot or cute or even average for that matter and no nerds btw. And I don't really like "otakus" I mean I like anime but I want my boyfriend to also be sane and like things outside of anime.

I have High standards I know. Sorry. ;-;

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Most otaku guys aren't my cup of tea. xD

I'm really judjmental, I know personality is important but I can't date a guy who's fat, unhygienic, and he has to be at least someone hot or cute or even average for that matter and no nerds btw. And I don't really like "otakus" I mean I like anime but I want my boyfriend to also be sane and like things outside of anime.

I have High standards I know. Sorry. ;-;

I don't think you're being overly shallow wanting a not-fat hygienic guy who has intrests other than anime and is cute. What bothers me is your asumption that most Most otaku guys don't fit those standards. As for the nerd coment, if you're already enough of geek that you go to an anime convention I don't think you'd be too happy with a completly "normal" guy.

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Sometimes it really is where you least expect it...

When I was in high school there was this really geeky boy...seriously...the glasses, the hair, the "I look like I skipped 3 grades" face...everything except the pocket protector. My initial thoughts was that he was a condescending academic type. If my 24 year old self could go back in time to my 14 year old self to tell her I was going to marry him someday, I would have laughed in her face. I never would have believed it. I like geeks...I tend to be more laid back and have more fun around them. But this guy was just eccentric. While he turned out to be every bit as intelligent as I thought he would be, he never made me feel like I was beneath him. We ended up in the same circle of friends so we hung out a great deal. It's because of him and another friend that I got into anime and manga in the first place. Getting into AMVs was all his fault.

We went to separate colleges and began to gradually hang out more often. I had just had my major high school crush date and dump me (and he avoided me in between) so I wasn't feeling all that great. Then all of a sudden he just out of the blue told me he loved me. But I just didn't feel that way about him...at all. Plus...being a very good friend and all...I didn't want to date him so soon after being dumped. He was the last person I wanted to use as a rebound. And there's the whole "if we break up, we won't have the same friendship we had before!" That was really scary for me too. Even so I still felt like total scum letting him down. I know how the receiving end feels and how much it sucks. But he acted like he never said that to me. We continued to hang out and he just never brought it up again.

Eventually I "came around" and said I'd try for a summer but I couldn't promise it would work out. I still wasn't into him that way... It actually took several months of dating before I realized I loved him too. During that trial period we went to Otakon...maybe spending a whole weekend geeking out with him helped a little. XD

And he looks so different now than he did 10 years go...5 years ago even. It's hilarious watching old teachers not recognize him at first and then all go nuts when the lights go on. It's usually when he says something that does it. He still has the same voice.

That was over 5 years ago and we're getting married this November. I wholeheartedly agree that initiative has to be taken. He gathered the guts to say something that a lot of people are terrified to speak out loud. I had to get the guts to put the state of our relationship in jeopardy and agree to give it a shot.

The married thing still boggles my mind. I just remember so vividly what I thought the first time I saw him and this future never appeared even in my wildest dreams. It just never occurred to me as a possibility. It's really freaky how unpredictable the future is. We really don't know anything...

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Less planning the better and more enjoyable your con experience will be! One should never go to a con expecting or looking for romance! It will just make some con attenders uneasy.

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I'm not one for the whole cliche (I.E similiar to a movie) falling in love. I think people will have better chances going to places such as a convention not looking for love. but looking for friends. and lets say you find that cute guy or that sexy girl don't swamp them with affection, try being thier friend. who knows you guys could turn out to be the best friends ever. or something more. you never know, especially if your at something as big as a convention. and trust me i am no expert on conventions this is my second convention EVER, but i have learned that its better to just be friends then go from there. learning to ~relax~ also helps

-Champagon

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...That was over 5 years ago and we're getting married this November. I wholeheartedly agree that initiative has to be taken. He gathered the guts to say something that a lot of people are terrified to speak out loud. I had to get the guts to put the state of our relationship in jeopardy and agree to give it a shot.

The married thing still boggles my mind. I just remember so vividly what I thought the first time I saw him and this future never appeared even in my wildest dreams. It just never occurred to me as a possibility. It's really freaky how unpredictable the future is. We really don't know anything...

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hmm... this really IS an interesting line of discussion... I suppose, it all has to do with the kinds of people who COME to anime conventions.

I'm willing to bet, that the vast majority of the people who I'll see this year are:

1. Somewhat socially outcast, because they LIKE anime.

2. Have been told that 'cosplay' is lame, etc.

3. Have been in negative relationships in the past.

4. See themselves as 'less than worthy' of a fulfilling relationship.

For these people,

The real trick is this:

You've gotta love you before someone else will.

Self-confidence has ALOT to do with how the outside world percieves you.

Me? I'm a mommy. I've got 2 kids.

I'm overweight by medical standards, perfect by renaissance standards.

I'm goth. NOT EMO.

I have piercings, tattoo's, and want more.

I wear glasses.

Through time, I've felt the following, in direct relation to what I just typed:

No one could want me, I'm used goods.

I'm fat, and unattractive. Men only want skinny girls now.

I'm 'scary', people think I'm a satanist.

I'll never get a job/never be taken seriously.

I'm ugly because of my glasses, if only I had contacts, I would be attractive.

Now, I admit, some of these thoughts still linger, and likely always will...

But, before I wound up in a good relationship, I had to re-evaluate myself. I had to come to terms with myself.

It suddenly changed into:

I have 2 kids that love me, who I would do anything for. Unconditional love. It's great.

Ok, I'm overweight, but hey, I look AWESOME in a corset!

Ok, so I'm goth. So?

My piercings really are attractive, and the tattoo's are awesome!

Glasses? Let's go for something less 'run of the mill', and get glasses that make me someone NEW.

Basically, it's like this guys:

Before you start looking for love everywhere...

Look for it inside you.

Can you find the love of your life at a con?

Yeah, you could also probably brush by them in Walmart.

Will you find the love of your life at a con?

Maybe. But not if you're preoccupied with how they look, how you look, or what you should do to impress them.

Be yourself. No-one can compare to WHO you ARE on the inside.

Other people will notice.

<_<

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Basically, it's like this guys:

Before you start looking for love everywhere...

Look for it inside you.

Can you find the love of your life at a con?

Yeah, you could also probably brush by them in Walmart.

Will you find the love of your life at a con?

Maybe. But not if you're preoccupied with how they look, how you look, or what you should do to impress them.

Be yourself. No-one can compare to WHO you ARE on the inside.

Other people will notice.

<_<

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1. Somewhat socially outcast, because they LIKE anime.

2. Have been told that 'cosplay' is lame, etc.

3. Have been in negative relationships in the past.

4. See themselves as 'less than worthy' of a fulfilling relationship.

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*bows*

Thanks for the kudos. :unsure:

As far as the 'less than worthy' thing...

I've noticed, some of the sweetest women on earth, and the nicest guys around seem to think that.

It's not a matter of self esteem really, it's this:

Too many bad relationships must mean something is wrong.

Right?

Dead wrong.

Bad relationships in the past are just that:

In the past.

If they're not in the past.

They oughta be.

No one deserves to be happy.

There IS someone out there for everyone.

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Sometimes it really is where you least expect it...

When I was in high school there was this really geeky boy...seriously...the glasses, the hair, the "I look like I skipped 3 grades" face...everything except the pocket protector. My initial thoughts was that he was a condescending academic type. If my 24 year old self could go back in time to my 14 year old self to tell her I was going to marry him someday, I would have laughed in her face. I never would have believed it. I like geeks...I tend to be more laid back and have more fun around them. But this guy was just eccentric. While he turned out to be every bit as intelligent as I thought he would be, he never made me feel like I was beneath him. We ended up in the same circle of friends so we hung out a great deal. It's because of him and another friend that I got into anime and manga in the first place. Getting into AMVs was all his fault.

We went to separate colleges and began to gradually hang out more often. I had just had my major high school crush date and dump me (and he avoided me in between) so I wasn't feeling all that great. Then all of a sudden he just out of the blue told me he loved me. But I just didn't feel that way about him...at all. Plus...being a very good friend and all...I didn't want to date him so soon after being dumped. He was the last person I wanted to use as a rebound. And there's the whole "if we break up, we won't have the same friendship we had before!" That was really scary for me too. Even so I still felt like total scum letting him down. I know how the receiving end feels and how much it sucks. But he acted like he never said that to me. We continued to hang out and he just never brought it up again.

Eventually I "came around" and said I'd try for a summer but I couldn't promise it would work out. I still wasn't into him that way... It actually took several months of dating before I realized I loved him too. During that trial period we went to Otakon...maybe spending a whole weekend geeking out with him helped a little. XD

And he looks so different now than he did 10 years go...5 years ago even. It's hilarious watching old teachers not recognize him at first and then all go nuts when the lights go on. It's usually when he says something that does it. He still has the same voice.

That was over 5 years ago and we're getting married this November. I wholeheartedly agree that initiative has to be taken. He gathered the guts to say something that a lot of people are terrified to speak out loud. I had to get the guts to put the state of our relationship in jeopardy and agree to give it a shot.

The married thing still boggles my mind. I just remember so vividly what I thought the first time I saw him and this future never appeared even in my wildest dreams. It just never occurred to me as a possibility. It's really freaky how unpredictable the future is. We really don't know anything...

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That story is so cool, I agree that you can not figure out what will happen with one person or another until life eventually figures it out. I know a couple of friends that met online and then I encouraged them to meet offline. They went out together like for 3 years and then they ended up getting married, the funny part was that the guy online nickname was kenshin and she was tomoe. they are still married ^^ and alive lol. This happened around 2002 they even have a son, I-m so glad I told them to meet each other, they were both shy ^^"

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...the chances of making a connection that could lead to love is fair at best
Agreed.

New questiona arise:

How do men define a connection?

How do women define a connection?

How does one "make" a new connection?

How do we increase the frequency of new connections? (Naturally and unnaturally occurring)

Off tangent questions:

-What are somethings women are naturally interested in? (Could be non dating also)

-Is wearing a sticker saying that your single and looking tacky?

-A friend of mine (female) said she posted a dating add on craigslist and gets flooded with real requests from real men. When I post a request, all I get is manipulative heartbreaking spam. Confirmation?

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^

well i did not understand most of the acronyms but... /anime nod.

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Personally I wouldn't look at cons, lol. I met my fiance my first year of college and he's into anime he just doesn't want to do the con thing or cosplay. He actually came to me after my parents were like "stop looking for love!" and it worked.

I used to crush on several people I knew from cons/met via cosplay.com, but that's all they really were: crushes. I mean there are some cute guys at cons, but I'm not going to approach them lol. I like to know someone before I approach them (as in I talked to them via LJ or cosplay.com) and not just approach some guy at a con I think is cute.

I think it's possible to find love at a con, I'm pretty sure a few of my friends have actually. It just depends on what your style is of meeting people.

Basically, it's like this guys:

Before you start looking for love everywhere...

Look for it inside you.

Can you find the love of your life at a con?

Yeah, you could also probably brush by them in Walmart.

Will you find the love of your life at a con?

Maybe. But not if you're preoccupied with how they look, how you look, or what you should do to impress them.

Be yourself. No-one can compare to WHO you ARE on the inside.

Other people will notice.

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Guest Lind L. Tailor

yes i would love an 'otaku' girlfriend, way too many of the girls i know aren't even into any of the main things i like, i wish i could meet girls at cons but i'm probably too shy though... :3

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Alright here are my 2 cents.... (more like 1 dollar) and all this stuff is in my opinion not trying to dictate or lecture:

You can find love anywhere, and definitely at Otakon.

My point of view is that love is something that may appear strong and suddenly, and that's fine... but ultimately successful love relationships are nurtured and cared for by both sides of the party.

The best piece of advice I can give:

"Each and every girl(boy) is different."

The moment you realize this things will work out a lot better.... you can easily date without being a creep if you take dating at Otakon for purely what it is: getting to know another person you're interested in better.

Yes, some people will be shallow and choose a partner solely based on looks... if that is what they want power to them. Others may choose a person based on mutual interests, but most likely, the choice of a partner will be somewhat between. I know that I am not Hercules/Adonis/He-Man (LOL) whatever, and chances are there aren't many "super hot" girls walking around either. This is the real world. As long as I am attracted to the girl and like her personality I would like to get to know her better. Hopefully she feels the same about me.

A little story from me:

In 2003 I was walking out of the dealer's room with one of my Irish friends (I'm asian) and ran into a group of girls who approached us. One of the girls walked up to me and asked me if I "wanted a glomp". I had no idea what a glomp was so I asked "what's a glomp?" and after a pause the girl hurled herself on top of me and kissed me on the cheek... at the time I was super shy and dumbfounded so I said "thank you" and walked away.

Can I classify this as love? Yes, no, maybe, it's hard to say. But... it's a good start for getting to know one another better.

I should have asked her name lol.

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